By Sam McCafferty

It's been 20 years since BMW dropped the 8 series nameplate.

          Rumors of the return of BMW's flagship 850 have swirled throughout the automotive press ever since the car was dropped from the BMW lineup in 1999. Renderings and what-if drawings circulated as BMW continued pressing forward without the "8er", as it came to be known amongst enthusiasts. That's why I was skeptical when I heard about the "new 8 series". I was wrong to doubt, though. BMW unveiled the 8 series concept in May of last year. What's more, they announced a 2018 release date. While we wait for the first official photos of the new production car, it seems appropriate to talk about the original. The E31 850Ci.

          This car used to be somewhat of a joke amongst certain gear-heads. They would slap their knees and guffaw every time they saw a classified ad for an 850 well below its original asking price, sitting on a set of dopey, 15-inch factory "sport" rims that dated the car more accurately than a lab-tested carbon sample. "Only 5000 dollars... plus double that in repairs when it breaks down HYUCK HYUCK HYUCK!" It appeared on numerous online listicles with titles like, "most disappointing cars ever", "top ten worse V12s", or "five worst BMWs ever built".

Then the new 8 series was announced.

          Suddenly prices for used 8ers were shooting skyward. Automatic 850i's that used to cost about as much as a second-hand Accord were now selling for up to 20,000 dollars. The top-of-the-line 850CSi saw a particularly impressive jump in price, nearly quintuple from their value in late 2014. Now the critics were doing total 180s, singing the praises of the 8 series using words such as "hidden gem", "underrated", and (their favorite) "future classic". Those who once groaned about "bland styling" were now gushing over the "retro ‘90s aesthetic". Instead of "overly-complex", the 850 was now "ahead of its time". The "lackluster performance" had become "good for its time". So what's the deal? Is the BMW 850Ci a sluggish, boring, dog of a sports car or is it actually a quick and lively treasure from the past?

The 8 series had four engines over its lifespan.

          First was the five liter V12 that put down around 296 horsepower. This was used in the 850i and 850Cis built before late 1994. From late 1994 on, the 850Ci was propelled by a 5.4 liter version of the V12 that made 326 horsepower. In 1994, the 840Ci was introduced as an “entry-level” $75,000 model with a 282 horsepower 4.4 liter V8. Finally, there’s the holy-grail, range-topping 850CSi with its 375 horsepower M-tuned, 5.6 liter V12 that was capable of easing the 2-ton car up to a smooth 200 miles per hour. While a long-legged six-speed manual transmission was available, most 8-series’ are equipped with an automatic transmission; 4 speeds in the 850i and 5 speeds in everything else. The late-model cars even have a Steptronic bump shift option. The 850CSi could be ordered only with the manual, as the good Lord intended. This car, being a late-model 850Ci, has the 5.4 liter engine and the 5 speed Steptronic gearbox.

          The simplest way to describe this car is smooth. Drive conservatively and it feels like a cushy Lexus. As soon as the back of the floor-mounted gas pedal touches carpet, though, your head becomes acquainted with the plush leather headrest as the car rapidly gains velocity. While exact information on such an uncommon car is hard to come by, it’s generally believed that these late 850Ci's lack the 155 mile per hour speed limiter of the 850i and 840Ci. Theoretically, speeds of over 175 should be possible, though I value my driver’s license too much to test this myself. The most impressive thing is the way it gains this speed. It never lets up. Most vehicles run out of steam at some point and acceleration slows. That feeling is worryingly absent in the 850. It plows down the road with the relentless momentum of a freight train, all the while maintaining a respectful cabin volume and silky ride. Reach down next to the gear selector and flip the drive mode switch from K for "komfort" to S for "sport" and things change a bit. The steering tightens noticeably and the throttle response sharpens. When corners approach the 850Ci feels far lighter than it really is. While the car understeers slightly in komfort mode, the advanced suspension stiffens up and keeps the car planted as you bring it around in sport mode. The nose will still plow a little wide, but give it enough throttle and you’re rewarded with exciting yet controllable oversteer. You’ll begin to feel oddly confident threading this heavy coupe through the bends. This car doesn’t feel 20 years old, that’s for sure.

The BMW 850Ci doesn't really look 20 years old, either.

          The styling of the BMW 8 series isn’t flamboyant or garish, which contributes to its shelf-life. The lines of the car are purposeful and well thought-out. It was drawn up on computers, can you imagine! Okay, I’ll admit, that was far more impressive back in 1989 when the car was debuted, but you can’t deny the effectiveness of the 8 series’ handsome looks. The roofline reminds me of Aston Martin coupes, while the nose recalls the BMW M1 supercar of the 1980’s. Even the engine bay is like a work of art, with carefully arranged piping framing the magnificent silver intake runners. There’s not a bad angle to be found. Once you fit more modern M-Parallel rims like this particular 850 has, you’re left with a timeless piece. There’s many nifty details, as well. Take the rear-view mirrors, for example. They’re angled to reduce wind resistance. There’s many more impressive touches, and the highest concentration can be found in the cabin.

          The doors are thick, and though you’re aware of how heavy they should be, they swing open lightly on the well-engineered hinges. While some of the switchgear is dated, such as the cassette deck front-and-center, the dash is still well laid out. The instruments are clear, if not a bit sparse for a vehicle of this caliber, and the center stack is angled towards the driver, putting all the buttons in easy reach. You’ll get dual-zone climate control, powered and heated-seats with 3 memory settings, a 6 CD changer, an auto-dimming mirror, a power steering wheel that raises to let you out, a passenger mirror that angles down to help you reverse, a ski bag, a first aid kit, a coin holder in the door, and an in-dash computer (in the 1990’s!). Many of these features are just now trickling down to your average Honda or Toyota but were space-age when this car released. Then we come to the glorious front seats. Yes, there are gorgeously-trimmed back seats, though they won’t readily accommodate adults with legs. The front seats, however, are incredibly comfortable for even long journeys. The power controls work perfectly and bring the seats quickly into your desired position. The only criticism that can be leveled against them is that they aren’t supportive enough for seriously sporty driving, but that’s not what this car is about.

Conclusion:

          The most common mistake people make when criticizing the BMW 8 series is measuring it as a super car. While some of the figures may lead you in this direction you have to understand that this is a grand tourer. This BMW is in its element cruising down the road at borderline illegal speeds for hours on end. You can’t compare the BMW 850 to supercars of the era such as the Ferrari F50 or Lamborghini Diablo for the same reason that you can’t compare McDonald’s to your mother’s Christmas ham; they serve two totally different purposes. While the ham is supposed to be eaten with your family in a cozy dining room and the McDonald’s while huddled into a corner with tears running down your face the F50 is meant to go around racetracks at breakneck speeds and the 850 to race down interstate to the NYC branch of your fortune 500 company. I see writers scoff at the BMW’s six second zero to sixty time and can instantly tell they just don’t get it. Maybe that’s why the 8 series went away. Maybe that’s why the new one will be available as a four-door; a fact that leaves me reeling with dread every time I consider it.

          If you take the BMW 850Ci as what it is you’ll find a grand touring car that can proudly call itself one of the best ever made. If you pull shut that big door with a satisfying thud expecting to pilot a race car, you’ll be let down somewhat. Either way, you’ll find a wonderful, underrated car that drives like a modern one. Oh wait, did I call it underrated? AWWW SH-